When the world gets closer.

We help you see farther.

Sign up to our expressly international daily newsletter.

Enjoy unlimited access to quality journalism.

Limited time offer

Get your 30-day free trial!
InterNations
RECALCULATING
Recalculating is a newsletter by Greece-based journalist Ignacio Pereyra, which aims to navigate manhood, masculinity, fatherhood and identity crisis. It is available both in English and in Spanish under the name Recalculando.
Photo of a marble statue of a man, focused on the torso
Society
Ignacio Pereyra

Can Men Help Breastfeed Their Children?

In a tribe in central Africa, male and female roles are practically interchangeable in caregiving to children. Even though their lifestyle might sound strange to the West, it offers important life lessons about who raises children — and how.

The southwestern regions of the Central African Republic and the northern Republic of Congo are home to the Aka, a nomadic tribe of hunter-gatherers who, from a Western point-of-view, are surprising because male and female roles are practically interchangeable.

Though women remain the primary caregivers, what is interesting is that their society has a level of flexibility virtually unknown to ours.

While the women hunt, the men care for the children; while the men cook, the women decide where to settle, and vice versa. This was observed by anthropologist Barry Hewlett, a professor at Washington State University, who lived for long periods alongside the tribe. “It is the most egalitarian human society possible,” Hewlett said in an interview.

Watch VideoShow less
Diaper Diary: Why Parenting Division Of Labor Still Stinks For Moms
Society
Ignacio Pereyra*

Diaper Diary: Why Parenting Division Of Labor Still Stinks For Moms

Why are men still avoiding tasks that women don't want to do either?

A few months ago, at the beginning of spring in Greece, I was taking a stroll with my three-year-old son at a playground in Voula, in the southern outskirts of Athens, facing the sea. Suddenly, Lorenzo ran a few meters to the beach.

Watch VideoShow less
Photo of a tearful Roger Federer after his last career match at the 2022 Laver Cup
Society
Ignacio Pereyra*

Federer And Nadal, Or The Privilege Of Being Celebrated For Crying

The picture of the two tennis stars holding hands and crying has already become iconic. Is there a risk that we are glorifying the gesture of two privileged, heterosexual, white men? Or can it also show a way forward for men to show vulnerability?

-Essay-

I have no doubt that the photo of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal holding hands and crying in front of the world during the Swiss player’s farewell to tennis will be remembered as one of the images of the year — or even the decade. It is extremely powerful on many levels.

From a symbolic point of view, it offers a great opportunity to move those who saw it. How many of us cried along with them? We saw two idols and, at the same time, great sport rivals overcome with emotion.

Why waste such a powerful image, such a tender moment, because two privileged, heterosexual, white, multimillionaire and European men are starring in it? On the contrary, that is exactly why the image provoked such a strong reaction: because these athletic, hyper-idealized, ultra-competitive, strong and confident men don't usually show such vulnerability, and we don't know when they will do it again.

Watch VideoShow less
A baby builds stack of blocks​
Society
Ignacio Pereyra*

Papá, Papá, On Repeat: Are We Men Ready For Fatherhood To Change Our Lives?

How many men are willing to change their lives when they become fathers? For Argentine journalist Ignacio Pereyra, becoming his son's main caregiver showed just how difficult caring for a child can be.

There is a moment on Saturday or Sunday, after having spent ten hours with my kids, that I get a little exasperated, I lose my patience. I find it hard to identify the emotion, I definitely feel some guilt too. I know that time alone with them improves our relationship... but I get bored! Yes, I feel bored. I want some time in the car for them to talk to each other while I can talk about the stupid things we adults talk about.

This is what a friend tells me. He tends to spend several weekends alone with his two children and prefers to make plans with other people instead of being alone with them. As I listened to him, I immediately remembered my long days with Lorenzo, my son, now three-and-a-half years old. I thought especially of the first two-and-a-half years of his life, when he hardly went to daycare (thanks, COVID!) and we’d spend the whole day together.

It also reminded me of a question I often ask myself in moments of boredom — which I had virtually ignored in my life before becoming a father: how willing are we men to let fatherhood change our lives?

It is clear that the routines and habits of a couple change completely when they have children, although we also know that this rarely happens equally.

With the arrival of a child, men continue to work as much or more than before, while women face a different reality: either they double their working day — maintaining a paid job but adding household and care tasks — or they are forced to abandon all or part of their paid work to devote themselves to caregiving.

In other words, "the arrival of a child tends to strengthen the role of economic provider in men (...), while women reinforce their role as caregivers," says an extensive Equimundo report on Latin America and the Caribbean, highlighting a trend that repeats itself in most Western countries.

Watch VideoShow less
Photo of a man walking in the park with his three children
Society
Ignacio Pereyra*

Invisible Work: The Weight Of A Family That Men Don’t See

A father’s role is not to help the mother out, but to take on the “mental load” of knowing what needs to be done.

Last winter in Greece, I ended up spending several full days with Lorenzo, my now three-year-old son, because he had been sick and could not attend daycare. My wife is the main breadwinner in the house and I am the one who gets to leave behind work in case there are emergencies like that.

When Lorenzo got better, we went to a café in the outskirts of Athens. I envisioned a win-win situation where I could have a break — eat lunch, check emails, answer some messages — while he could play in an area designed for children — with a ball pit, tables for drawing and painting, a book corner… how important it is to have such spaces!

Watch VideoShow less