As 2023 draws to a close, Worldcrunch has asked its writers to reflect on the past year — and look ahead to 2024.
-Essay-
Anyone can be cynical, the challenge is to be an optimist. The sentence is not mine, I will figure out where I got it from. The thing is that being an optimist seems — beyond heresy — a mixture of idiocy and naivety.
To be an optimist, when we are cornered by apocalyptic pessimism, is to believe that it is always possible to build knowing that it is easier to destroy. I also repeat this to myself during those fatalist weeks when I find it hard to get up.
To be an optimist is to have children even when the world scares us, when we know that life as a couple — and family — is a great challenge, under construction; and when uncertainty appears when we open our eyes every morning.
To be an optimist, when it is easier to be a pessimist, is to convince myself that it is worthwhile to keep trying (whatever it takes) in order to be able to transmit to my children that it is not true that things can only get worse, and that the effort in and of itself is worth the try.
To be an optimist is to put the year in perspective without deceiving myself — I know very well that there are things that I don’t like or that I can’t turn around — and, at least for a while, to focus on what works (or did work), and on everything that deserves to be mentioned, because that is also a way to be thankful.
I see this optimism, for example, in a community project close to us that got burned to the ground during last summer’s wildfires in Greece: although they lost one of the main buildings, the place is still going strong — it runs a daycare center and has various activities for children on weekends. Oh, and next summer promises to be full of flowers and concerts.
But I find it hard to be an optimist, for example, when I think of the people I love and know that are having a very hard time in Argentina. And who are afraid that the worst is yet to come.
Can I be pessimistic on a worldwide scale but optimistic on an individual level?
It is painful to see the land where I was born turned into a permanent hotbed, with the latent threat of being always on the verge of collapse, now entrusted to “the forces of heaven,” while poverty has reached almost 45% of the population (and more than half of the children live in poverty).
Without going far, just here, around my house in Greece, it also seems naive and selfish to be optimistic when I see migrants wandering around Athens or in the suburbs, and I know that they are part of a much larger and incessant drama that repeats itself in different parts of the world.
When I see migrants in groups in a square, I sense that they are some of the 15,000 who are going hungry because of welfare cuts. I also wonder if any of them managed to escape the scandalous migrant hunters (which Greece is becoming infamous for) or if they were saved from drowning in a shipwreck.
My optimism — and my vital energy — do plummet when I read the news: wars, terrorist attacks, loss of rights, murders, natural catastrophes and famines.
Despite the tendency to believe that we are facing a worldwide moral breakdown, recent research shows that this is a wrong perception, a cognitive bias that is altering people’s view of the world.
If moral decline is only a perception, can we determine whether the world is objectively getting better or worse? Or taking a stand becomes a mere excuse to justify our vision of the world, and our actions (or lack thereof)?
I’m not going to get into the debate about whether the world is doing better, whether it’s falling apart, or whether it’s actually doing worse. But to get a sense of where we stand in this debate, we can check our perception against the data.
On Gapminder, a platform run by an independent Swedish foundation that wants to fight global misconceptions, you can find answers to questions about domestic work, global warming, plastic in the oceans, life satisfaction, extreme poverty, or more. If anyone tries it, let me know what you made of it. Most of those who participate get their answers to questions like this one wrong:
In 1980, roughly 40% of the world’s population lived in extreme poverty, with less than $2 per day. What is the share today?
10%
30%
50%
92% of participants got their answer wrong.
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pin_description=”” caption=”At the macro level,\u00a0there was almost nothing but reasons to celebrate: our family and closest ones are all well.” photo_credit=”Ante Hamersmit/Unsplash” photo_credit_src=”https://unsplash.com/fr/photos/silhouette-dhomme-portant-un-enfant-vMP8lfhxPi4″]
At the macro level, there was almost nothing but reasons to celebrate: our family and closest ones are all well.Ante Hamersmit/Unsplash
Micro-reality
Bearing in mind all the above, for a little while, I try to focus on a very limited slice of reality, which is my personal life, to see if I am better or worse than I think I am. Will there be a definitive answer? Can I be pessimistic on a worldwide scale but optimistic on an individual level?
I have been writing and updating this newsletter for some weeks now (being an optimist is a battle), so it is not the product of an outburst, which does not exempt it from arbitrariness.
The first year of life of our second son León raised the challenges we faced as a family, whose balance is always fragile. And one of the first things that comes to my mind is that, unlike other years, I did not get to December completely done in. This year I am enjoying this month more than I have in recent years.
I have the feeling that this was a good year, but I do not forget that in the middle it was exhausting — Irene, my partner, struggled with her health, and it is something I talked about very little.
So, what worked so that I could get to the end of the year feeling less exhausted than in the past. I have no idea.
I do know that one Saturday morning in December, Irene and I sat on some rocks by the sea. It’s a place where we can’t go with the kids — we left them with friends for a couple of hours that day. And we talked a lot with Irene, about our fears, frustrations, pending issues, challenges, dreams.
It was also a bit of a relief and a way to realize that there were — there are and there will be — disagreements that resulted from misunderstandings, something logical after eleven years together, now focused on work and the care of small children (1 and 4 years old).
We looked at the macro level and there was almost nothing but reasons to celebrate: our family and closest ones are all well.
On the micro level, December was one of those months in which I felt that things moved forward, and those that did not, felt less heavy.
To be an optimist is to take a deep breath and start again.
We had small domestic victories. A few shelves placed here and there, a piece of furniture restored, the Christmas tree put together, a bit of order in the garage and among the clothes we no longer wear, and another bit of order here and there.
I guess the satisfaction has to do with a little less procrastination and mental dalliance and a little more practical work. Concrete things feel good. In turn, that meant less time on my phone (the stats say so).
In the short term, I have certain books pending that I would love to read (all by Argentine authors, about parenthood and being a man, including Querido Gino. Cartas para amar el fútbol, de una madre a un hijo). Since leaving Buenos Aires at the end of 2016, reading has become a way to stay linked to my home country.
I also have two books I want to write that are pending. One is about Juanca, a friend of mine whose life touched many people; and the other tells the adventures of nomadic fatherhood who by chance found himself subverting the pre-established gender roles.
As I have explained, Recalculating was born out of a long text I started to write when I stopped working to devote myself to the care of Lorenzo, our firstborn, and to housework.
Writing I understood that I was living through a crisis, mainly resulting from the question ‘What kind of a man am I, if I am not a provider? I had never asked myself this question because there had never been a need.
That text became a book draft, more than 200 pages long. I started writing it in June 2020 and abandoned it in March 2021. That is, three years ago. In that interim, renowned authors became parents and published their books. I did not read them but I have Umbilical/Cord Blood, by Spanish-Argentine author Andrés Neuman; Literatura Infantil, by Chile’s Alejandro Zambra.
The frustration is twofold: not only do I have that project hanging but others have already done something about the same subject before and I am going to be late (once again). But is this thinking really true? Deep down I think it is not only absurd, but also unimportant. Yet, I keep procrastinating this project, it keeps causing me a mixture of anxiety and anguish. But I can leave it aside.
Writing, I have also figured out where that sentence, “Anyone can be cynical, the challenge is to be an optimist,” comes from. I used it ten years ago in a text I wrote.
I had no recollection that I had written it — I only found out by Googling it — and I am surprised by how current that text still is. As a new year was about to start, a friend wished to hear these sentences more often: “Sorry, I made a mistake”, “Did you bring some wine? I’m lighting the BBQ”, “I love you”, “Do you need anything”, “Can I help you?”
In the end, to be an optimist does not mean you have to stop doubting, stop being critical, nor stop fighting for what we believe in. Though it may sound naive, exercising optimism is also a way to fight against pessimism. It is a bet to keep trying — despite our contradictions, our mistakes and the feeling that pushing further no longer makes sense. To be an optimist is to take a deep breath and start again. Yes, being an optimist is a decision that must be sustained.
