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Dottoré!

On The Couch And On The Lam

Our Dottoré looks back on an entertaining session with a witty runaway convict.

Photo of a woman writing on a notepad

"Occupation...?"

Mariateresa Fichele

- Do you have a job?

- No. I am incarcerated.

- And they let you out to come see me?

- No, I didn’t get permission.

- And you don't think that instead of going to see a psychiatrist, it would have been better to look for a lawyer, for instance?

- There’s nothing a lawyer can do for me.

- And what about me? What can I help you with?

- I am a lifer. I would just like my sentence to be commuted to something lighter.

- OK then, you would like a reduced sentence, for psychiatric reasons. And was it necessary to run away in order to get it?

- That I didn’t seek permission doesn’t mean that I escaped. In fact they are here with me.

- Outside the door?

- No. In this room.

- I don't see anyone.

- Neither do I.

- So they’re in your head?

- Now we’re making progress.

- And so my job is not to convince a jury to acquit you, but to somehow make your punishment lighter.

- Exactly. Finally, we understand each other.

- Very well. Then let’s try to work this out together. But in the meantime, there’s a formality I need to go through. I can’t exactly write Incarcerated under "Occupation," in your file.

- Actually, I would like you to highlight my sentence there.

- OK. How about “Condemned to Forced Thoughts”. How does that sound to you?

- Yes, but don't you write “Awaiting Trial”!

- I would never!

- Good. Let's proceed, then.


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