A writer revisits his own machismo as the discourse between the genders evolves.
Source: RECALCULATING
Recalculating is a newsletter by Greece-based journalist Ignacio Pereyra, which aims to navigate manhood, masculinity, fatherhood and identity crisis. It is available both in English and in Spanish under the name Recalculando.
When a child’s blunt questions about death collide with the sudden loss of a neighbor, glass marbles in hand, lessons on fragility and presence take shape in unexpected ways.
Parenting in a world in crisis. The dissonance between intimate and global. Daily resilience facing hyper-normalized chaos — and thinking that the idea of heroism as the horizon of fatherhood is unbearable.
A jellyfish sting, a rock to the head, and a child struggling to breathe. What begins as a beach camping trip ends in the emergency room. In the haze of exhaustion and unanswered questions, one father reflects on parenting, fear, and the quiet loneliness of raising kids without a net.
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What Happens To Men After Divorce?
Argentine journalist and father of two Ignacio Pereyra wonders if some of divorced mothers’ experiences, like personal rediscovery, also apply to separated men.
In today’s families, too many women are exhausted, raising children alone in silence. Too many men feel lost, unsure of how to step in. Ignacio Pereyra spoke with Laura Baena and Maite Egoscozabal of Malasmadres — a movement born to dismantle the myth of the perfect mother — about how to rebuild the bridge between the sexes in a world that has changed faster than our old roles allow.
Argentine journalist Ignacio Pereyra reflects on six years as the primary caregiver to his two sons while his partner advanced her career. Though his decision has sparked praise — and skepticism — it’s also unraveled assumptions about masculinity, fairness, and what we call “normal” parenting.
Caregiving is still culturally framed as exceptional when done by men, even though true gender equality requires it to be routine — not praised, but expected. Despite growing awareness, women still shoulder the majority of care work, and shifting this imbalance means redefining care as a shared human responsibility, not a gendered role.
Parents throwing punches. The ways we try — and fail — to coexist. Bill Watterson and ambition. Calvin & Hobbes and the adult world. Do kids worsen our quality of life? Would my mom have lived 13 more years?
Becoming a parent doesn’t just change your life — it rewires your brain. Science is showing that both mothers and fathers experience profound neurological shifts, with emotional, mental, and social consequences that go far beyond biology.
In this deeply personal account, journalist Ignacio Pereyra looks back on his journey through desire, fear and what a moment in Vigo some 20 years ago taught him about the silence of masculinity.
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Why The Maternal Instinct Is A Scam
The maternal instinct scam. What changed with fatherhood? That we don’t have sex like before. Seriously? Yes, she doesn’t want to. Why is it like that?
From the Boom generation to the “padritores” of Latin writers, it isn’t that men are incapable of emotional reflection, but that the spaces to do so simply don’t exist.
When it comes to parental burnout, you don’t have to feel alone or isolated. Theories on how couples make it. A trip out to the cinema, and a wager.
In a tribe in central Africa, male and female roles are practically interchangeable in caregiving to children. Even though their lifestyle might sound strange to the West, it offers important life lessons about who raises children — and how.
Irene was calling: “Lorenzo ate a small yellow berry from those plants that are everywhere. It’s toxic. The pediatrician says we should go to the ER.” And thus begins our father’s latest tale.
Holidays are a time for family, and grandparents play a role too. Argentine journalist Ignacio Pereyra asks what happens when there are no grandparents around, and asks a grandmother to share her thoughts too.
Moments of terrifying anxiety for a father and – no need for superfluous suspense here — a happy ending.
The horrible and the positive aspects of the “terrible twos.” From adorable baby to mischievous little goblin. Recipes, frustration, and strategies. A small victory on a chaotic morning.
Questions, doubts, challenges, imaginary friends, linguistic habits, privileges, reflections, setbacks and anecdotes: in his latest fatherhood-focused newsletter, the author shares fragments of 2024 in the form of a personal diary.
Is feminism wrong in its strategy? Are all male machistas? Some ideas on what we men could do better — as politicians like Trump seem to count on young, disgruntled men to push back against the victories of the feminist movement.
To truly combat how internalized traditional gender roles have become, we need to rethink power dynamics — and why some tasks shouldn’t “by default” be incumbent on women.
After an eventful weekend, the author finds himself in need of reconnecting with the most important things in life — with a little help from an Argentine rock ‘n’ roll musician.
How can parents find balance in the face of societal pressure and expectations? What can we do to re-confer prestige and value to parenting roles? Those are questions both parents ought to ask themselves — not only women.
Life is a constant transition — and so is parenthood. How do we find balance and meaning in the midst of chaos and uncertainty, asks journalist Ignacio Pereyra in the latest iteration of his “Recalculating” newsletter on parenthood.
Being aware of our own vulnerabilities is not a sign of weakness — it’s what makes us human. But as Ignacio Pereyra writes, reflecting on his own experience as a man and a father, there’s still a fairly long way to go before the “club of men” understands the value of opening up about their fears.
A father goes back to the role of son for a while and discovers things about his parents: their music, habits and upbringing. Is it harder now to be a parent than it was before? What will the author’s children be left with from their upbringing?
The author indulges himself in some summer reflection about the world and himself, and what future his children will build.
In a tribe in central Africa, male and female roles are practically interchangeable in caregiving to children. Even though their lifestyle might sound strange to the West, it offers important life lessons about who raises children — and how.
A Colombian journalist recounts his sexual traumas and understands that his problems in bed are not just his — but many men share similar histories. While partners cannot step into the role of therapists, what can men do to have more intimacy, and better sex lives?
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Never Quit On A Bad Day
My eldest told me he wanted to quit going to football training. “When something feels hard, the mind and body resist because they seek comfort”.
Being a parent of young children is like being in a tunnel: you don’t know how long you will be there, or whether you’ll ever get out. But that’s a necessary experience for fathers to understand themselves, and their relationships, better.
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When A Baby Is Born, So Is A Father
Fathers are not usually home alone for weeks with their children. As Argentine journalist Ignacio Pereyra reflects on his own experience, and what he gained from it, he also asks himself what it takes for a society to recognize how much becoming a parent can change a person.
Uncomfortable moments in daily life mixed with a child’s gaze and a struggle to let go of unhelpful male habits. What is this discomfort for?
Taking an international trip with small children can be a source of stress, but that shouldn’t overshadow the larger life lessons of such an adventure.
Whether we’re kids or adults, with different risks and problems posed, we share the same challenge: how to use screens, and use them well.
Wars, terrorist attacks, natural disasters, famines … The news gives us every right to despair – but as the author puts it: “Anyone can be cynical, the challenge is to be an optimist.”
In fatherhood, like in life in general, reality often surpasses our expectations, writes Argentine journalist Ignacio Pereyra. Whenever we have a feeling that we know what is going to happen, life proves us wrong — often for better.
The femicide of Giulia Cecchettin has shaken Italy, and beyond. Argentine journalist Ignacio Pereyra looks at what lies behind femicides and why all men must take more responsibility.
One thing’s for sure, whether you have children or not: You are bound to make mistakes, experience frustration and learn things the hard way. The key is to gradually understand how to live with it.