Homicidal Thoughts, Al Dente
For this patient, it’s the last spaghetti that broke the camel’s back.
“Dottoré! I think I have anger management issues — I just get nervous so easily.”
“And what is it that makes you angry?”
“My wife! My wife, every time she cooks.”
“Why? Is she a bad cook?”
“Not exactly, it’s just that she never listens to me. For example, I’ll tell her that a certain recipe requires either fusilli or penne, and she couldn’t care less! She turns around and tosses a mix of everything into the water, saying that it’ll cook faster that way.
Or else, she’ll tell me she’s making spaghetti with Piennolo tomatoes, which means she should be dropping the whole tomatoes into the oil and squishing them. But what does she do instead? She cuts them up into pieces because she doesn’t want to deal with the oil popping.
That isn’t cooking – that’s homicide!”
“Gennà, I don’t know what to say. You’re right! But we must find a solution to that irritation problem of yours.”
“Dottorè, don’t say that. Now you remind me of my wife and I’m getting irritated again! It’s the same thing with her: We talk, but we don’t understand one another. The problem is with my wife’s cooking — I’m perfectly fine!”
Learn more about Worldcrunch's exclusive Dottoré! series here.
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