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WHAT THE WORLD

Why Did The Turkey Go To The Dentist's? It Was Mating Season

Some may find this story a little hard to gobble.

Why Did The Turkey Go To The Dentist's? It Was Mating Season
Bertrand Hauger

There's an old joke that goes: "Why did the turkey go to the dentist's? To get its cavity filled…"

Well, one particular Californian wild turkey went for real last Wednesday with no plans for getting stuffed, nor for having a laugh. The remarkably large and — as the Sacramento Bee journalist ventures — "very confused" bird crashed through the window of the waiting room at an oral surgeon's office in Fair Oaks, just east of Sacramento, and proceeded to destroy much of the premises.

Fortunately there were no patients inside at the time, and the only member of staff on site promptly reported fowl play to the local animal control officers, who were able to subdue the bird, which has since been released back into the wild.

As for why the turkey actually did crash the dentist's, a wildlife rescue worker told the Sacramento Bee that the "turkey may have seen its own reflection in the window and attacked it, confusing it for a romantic rival amid the mating season for the birds." Yet another reason to chicken out and postpone your dentist's visit a little longer.

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Ideas

Shame On The García Márquez Heirs — Cashing In On The "Scraps" Of A Legend

A decision to publish a sketchy manuscript as a posthumous novel by the late Gabriel García Márquez would have horrified Colombia's Nobel laureate, given his painstaking devotion to the precision of the written word.

Photo of a window with a sticker of the face of Gabriel Garcia Marquez with butterfly notes at Guadalajara's International Book Fair.

Poster of Gabriel Garcia Marquez at Guadalajara's International Book Fair.

Juan David Torres Duarte

-Essay-

BOGOTÁ — When a writer dies, there are several ways of administering the literary estate, depending on the ambitions of the heirs. One is to exercise a millimetric check on any use or edition of the author's works, in the manner of James Joyce's nephew, Stephen, who inherited his literary rights. He refused to let even academic papers quote from Joyce's landmark novel, Ulysses.

Or, you continue to publish the works, making small additions to their corpus, as with Italo Calvino, Samuel Beckett and Clarice Lispector, or none at all, which will probably happen with Milan Kundera and Cormac McCarthy.

Another way is to seek out every scrap of paper the author left and every little word that was jotted down — on a piece of cloth, say — and drip-feed them to publishers every two to three years with great pomp and publicity, to revive the writer's renown.

This has happened with the Argentine Julio Cortázar (who seems to have sold more books dead than alive), the French author Albert Camus (now with 200 volumes of personal and unfinished works) and with the Chilean author Roberto Bolaño. The latter's posthumous oeuvre is so abundant I am starting to wonder if his heirs haven't hired a ghost writer — typing and smoking away in some bedsit in Barcelona — to churn out "newly discovered" works.

Which group, I wonder, will our late, great novelist Gabriel García Márquez fit into?

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