PARIS — There's no fixed running time for the Academy Awards ceremony. If you live on the East Coast, and are not a night owl, you may very well have not made it last night to Best Picture. It's usually not that big of a deal, with some arguing that the Hollywood show has become somewhat predictable.
Living in Paris and needing our beauty sleep, my wife
coerced me and I started this sweet tradition a couple of years ago of watching the Oscars the following night, dans les conditions du direct. Meaning that she'll spend her whole Monday avoiding social media, online news, TV and radio. Being an online journalist, she basically has to take a day off, or cover her ears and go LALALA — or, more like La La Land, am I right?
I on the other hand, being a serious journalist too and generally not giving a damn about keeping the whole thing a surprise, started my morning as usual by opening up
my PEOPLE.com app the Financial Times, looking for a quick list of winners, some commentary on unavoidable Trump takedowns, and photos of the worst dressed on the red carpet.
But as you may or may not know (depending on your time zone), this was anything but a predictable Oscar night. The plot twist was itself Oscar-worthy, with La La Land being initially declared Best Picture winner when in fact, the prize went to Moonlight.
While the internet explores the depths of this memorable pop culture moment, the authorities are investigating just what went wrong. No doubt someone in Hollywood will soon be pitching a screenplay called "The Envelope", with Meryl Streep as Emma Stone — you know she can pull it off — Michael Fassbender as Warren Beatty, and Ryan Gosling as the Oscar statuette (same acting range).
I can't wait to watch the show with my blissfully unaware wife. There are already reaction compilations up there of people cursing and screaming all sorts of nonsense. As for my bilingual better half, I'll just sit back and watch her go: "oh putain, oh putain, oh my God, oh my God ..." Then the initial shock will pass and she'll just have one word, en anglais to say it all: awkwaaard.