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A Very Neapolitan Hatred For Summer

Volcanic outburst about heatwaves and impossibility to cool off.

Photo of the Vesuvius volcano overlooking the Bay of Naples

"I’ll hit them so hard they'll end up in the sea in Mergellina"

domy_photo00 via Instagram / Worldcrunch
Mariateresa Fichele

Such awful heat that you can’t even be naked, mosquitoes that eat you alive, sweat that sticks to your skin, the kids that want to go to the beach and the money you spend sending them there, the craziness that grows inside your head and not even a cool shower can help you cool it off …

Really, Dottoré, those people who say, "Summer is so beautiful," I wish something bad would happen to them. The first person who says I’m wrong, I’ll hit them so hard they'll end up in the sea in Mergellina, with all their teeth knocked out … And I’d like to see them try to find a dentist in August!

In a word: I hate summer.

Transcript of a one-act play uttered all in one breath — in Neapolitan. Subtitles for Italian speakers available in my medical records.

Learn more about Worldcrunch's exclusive Dottoré! series here.

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Where Imperialism Goes To Die: Lessons From Afghanistan To Ukraine

With multilateral diplomacy in tatters, the fighting gumption of weaker states against aggression by bigger powers is helping end the age of empires.

Man walking past an anti-Putin graffiti on a destroyed wall in

Man walking past an anti-Putin graffiti in Arkhanhelske, near Kherson, Ukraine

Andrés Hoyos


BOGOTÁ — Just a century ago, imperialism was alive and kicking. Today, the nasty habit of marching into other countries is moribund, as can be seen from the plains of Ukraine.

The invasion was part of President Vladimir Putin's decades-long dream of restoring the Russian empire or the Soviet Union, for which he would resort to genocide if need be, like his communist predecessors. Only this time, the targeted victim turned out to be too big a mouthful.

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When Putin leaves, sooner or later, with his tail between his legs, this will have been a sorry end to one of the last illusions of empire — unless, of course, China tries a similar move down the line.

This isn't the only imperialist endeavor to have failed in recent decades (and it has, when you think Putin thought his armies would sweep into Kyiv within days). Afghanistan resisted two invasions, Iraq was the setting of another imperialist disaster, as was Kuwait, with a bit of help from the Yankee sheriff on that occasion. In fact, besides some rather targeted interventions, one would have to move back several more decades to find an example of "victorious" imperialism, for want of better words. Which is very good news.

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