PARIS — When it came time to divide their assets, Louis was ready for anything — except this. After five years of marriage and 12 years together, Inès, who initiated the divorce, wanted to keep the engagement ring.
“I was ready to give her all the furniture and even our apartment, just to be done with it,” the 30-something explains. “But that ring is a symbol of our love. She can’t seriously keep wearing it like it’s just any old watch!”
Inès sees things differently. The ring — a solitaire diamond set in a platinum Cartier band — is undoubtedly a piece filled with emotional significance, but it also represents “what I always dreamed of as a child,” she says. “It was a piece I was proud to show off, and I chose it simply because I loved it. I’m very attached to it and could give it a new meaning.” She’s even thinking about wearing it on her left middle finger (since the ring finger is traditionally reserved for engagements) or on her right hand.
Albane also wasn’t ready to part with her ring when she divorced during the pandemic lockdown: “Not loving my husband anymore doesn’t mean I stopped loving my diamond! And as (French) kids say: donner, c’est donner ; reprendre, c’est voler — what’s given is given, taking it back is stealing, right?”
Still aware that the gift was unlike any other, the 33-year-old from Lyon gave the stone a new symbolic life by turning the center diamond into a pendant she now wears every day.
Model Emily Ratajkowski did something similar when her painful marriage to producer Sebastian Bear-McClard ended in 2022. She transformed her Toi et Moi engagement ring (two stones side by side) into two separate rings. Her so-called “divorce rings” even became a surprising trend on Instagram.
At the Parisian vintage jewelry store 58 Facettes, customers frequently bring in their former engagement rings to have them redesigned into bracelets or earrings. “It’s a way to let the piece evolve, just like their story did,” says Étienne Liebgott, the store’s jewelry expert. “We also resell former engagement rings — though in those cases, we remove any engravings, polish them, clean them, and even dip them in spring water to recharge their energy.”
A textbook case
For Martin, “an engagement ring has monetary value. I really stretched my budget to buy the one for my ex-wife. When we divorced, I made sure to get it back — especially since my father helped me pay for it.”
Though such matters might seem to depend on each couple’s goodwill, they’re actually classic legal cases studied in first-year law classes.
“It’s an interesting issue because it stirs strong emotions with its romantic undertones, tied to what was supposed to be a happy time that’s now over,” says family law attorney Héloïse Kawaishi, a partner at PacisLexis Family Law. “It touches on vanity and money, and often involves the families. Despite the freedom to marry, the courts have given special status to engagement rings.”
The law’s job is to separate emotion from the jewelry and determine, if an amicable agreement can’t be reached, who should keep it.
The only situation where sentimental value clearly trumps legal arguments?
That’s where the Sacha Guitry ruling of 1952 comes in. It holds that a gift from a husband to his wife may be considered not a “donation,” but a “customary gift,” which is non-refundable, if it meets two conditions:
- It was given on a special occasion (such as an engagement);
- The gift was modest, given the giver’s wealth and lifestyle.
“For instance, a man earning €3,500 per month can reasonably give a €600 ring,” explains the lawyer. But in Martin’s case — where his father helped with the purchase — the gift may not qualify as a “customary gift” but rather a donation propter nuptias (a gift made in consideration of marriage), due to the disproportionate expense. In that case, returning the ring may be required.
The only situation where sentimental value clearly trumps legal arguments? When the ring is a family heirloom — not just a vintage-looking piece, but one passed down by a family member. In those cases, a return of the ring is mandatory, as the gift is seen as lasting only for the duration of the marriage.
