The latest case was reported in Turin. A man was sentenced to five-and-a-half years of prison for violence and abuse of his wife, after he had forced her to sleep outside in the doghouse. The original source of the investigation was a complaint registered at school by one of the couple’s five children, who was 11 years old at the time.
Another case in July came from a 16-year-old girl who had showed up alone at a police station in Milan to report her domestic hell: beatings, threats and insults inflicted by her drunken father on herself, her older sister and mother. The night before her report, the man had stood before them holding a kitchen knife, saying he was going to kill them all.
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In this case, like many others, the mother preferred not to confront her husband or report him to the police, hoping that he would eventually sober up. Indeed, when she was approached by the police, she denied everything and remained at home with her husband. The daughter — placed in a protected community in the meantime — feared her father would take revenge on her mother for her complaint.
Emma Avezzù, prosecutor of the Juvenile Court of Turin, says that more and more children not only have to live with violence and be subjected to it, but “also have to take responsibility for reporting these situations.”
Precise data on the phenomenon in Italy do not exist. But the prosecutor reports that in her district “there are at least a hundred cases a year in which the court is activated as a result of reports that start from young children,” especially at school, via classmates and teachers. Avezzù says “the number of kids who directly call the police for help is also increasing.”
President of Milan’s Juvenile Court, Maria Carla Gatto, says these children are victims in two ways: “Not only do they suffer a domestic climate that marks them for life, but they are not even protected by their mothers who accept mistreatment even at the expense of their children’s serenity.”
New generations rebel against abuse
These women, in many cases, cannot find the strength to seek help even after their children report the partner’s abuse. And they end up giving up, choosing to continue living at home with their tormentor while the children are removed by the courts and placed in protected communities.
The woman in tears on the doorstep continued to deny the violence
In June, a 12-year-old girl’s plea for help in Casamicciola Terme, Ischia, may have saved her mother’s life through a coded Whatsapp message to her friend. Even when the police arrived, the woman in tears on the doorstep continued to deny the violence. It was the little girl who shouted, “Arrest daddy, arrest daddy. He beats mommy.”
A few months ago, also in the outskirts of Milan, a 15-year-old girl ended up in the hospital after attempting suicide. She told doctors that she could no longer bear the beating and psychological violence to which her father had always forced the whole family: her mother, her little brother, and herself. The beatings were almost daily, sometimes carried out with a belt or a bat.
A few days earlier, she had tried to film him with her cell phone, but he caught and beat her until she could barely breathe. So the young girl had swallowed pills to try to end it all. Yet when later asked by investigators, this mother also denied everything and remained at home with her husband while both children were removed.
The list of these kinds of cases is long, and by no means limited to Italy.
From California to Wales
A child in California was able to save his mother’s life because he recorded his father while brutally beating her. The recording, a 6 minutes long video, showed the man repeatedly hitting his wife in the face and head.
A similar story happened in Wales, where a brave little boy was so scared about his father’s behavior that he called the emergency hotline and gave a detailed description of how the mother had been assaulted during an argument, giving the police exactly what they needed.
New generations have a greater ability to rebel against abuse
No doubt the rise in these kinds is also thanks to the internet’s spreading of information, which is able to reach young people who in the past were even more isolated.
In India, a 14-year-old boy sought help through an online website that lets you talk directly with lawyers via comments and, after having explained the situation, asked what his rights were so that he and his mother and brothers could move out the house, and she could file for divorce.
Still, most children tend to either keep such situations secret or at best give off signs that there is trouble. Educators are therefore learning to notice these signs so that they can better communicate with young students, and eventually intervene if help is requested.
“It is a shame that when we talk about the violence against women, no one thinks of the violence that, in the same homes, their children are forced to endure,” Gatto, the Milan judge says.
But she sees one big sign of progress: “These new generations have a greater ability to rebel against abuse and to denounce it, compared to past generations,” she said. “These manifestations of courage show that in younger people there is a greater awareness of their rights and dignity. And this is a great message of hope for the future.”
