-Analysis-
WARSAW — Let us first recall those words that were said during the now infamous public argument that exploded when Volodymyr Zelensky came to the White House last month.
“Have you said thank you once? During this entire meeting?” U.S. Vice President JD Vance asked the Ukrainian president.
Zelensky replied that he had said thank you many times, even on the day of the meeting. “Offer some words of appreciation for the United States of America and the president who’s trying to save your country,” Vance insisted.
President Donald Trump himself said to Zelensky: “What you’re doing is very disrespectful to the country, this country that’s backed you far more than a lot of people said they should have.”
But accusations of supposed Ukrainian “ingratitude” have been around for a while, and may have started in its neighbor and one of its strongest supporters, Poland. Just a few months after the Russian invasion, some members of the then right-wing government explained their reluctance to help its neighbor was because Ukrainians weren’t grateful enough.
The topic was introduced into the political mainstream by the then presidential minister Marcin Przydacz, who in the summer of 2023 accused Ukrainians of ingratitude because Ukrainians tried to challenge a Polish grain embargo being put in place.
Where’s the appreciation?
Also, last year, when asked why Warsaw was not sending more MiG-29 fighter jets to the front, Deputy Prime Minister Kosiniak-Kamysz replied: “We gave as much as we could, and I expect the Ukrainian side to appreciate it.”
YouTube is full of videos of debates with titles such as “Ukraine: Ingratitude or Political Realism” and “Did Kyiv Defeat Us?” Even if most of the participants of these discussions argue that the war is not about gratitude and that it is not true that Kyiv has not made any gestures towards Poland, the clickbait titles create a troubling narrative.
It was said that Ukrainians were not grateful for the country’s industrialization in Soviet times
According to research by the Mieroszewski Center of Polish-Russian dialogue, the word that Poles most associate with Ukrainians at the beginning of 2025 is “ungratefulness,” followed by “entitlement” and “refugees.”
The accusation of “Ukrainian ingratitude” was one of the pillars of the Russian propaganda campaigns after the 2004 Orange Revolution. It was said that Ukrainians were not grateful for the country’s industrialization in Soviet times or for the victory of the Red Army in 1945. This was an attempt to convince Ukraine to return to the Russian sphere of influence.
It is significant that the narrative of alleged Ukrainian ingratitude became widespread in the West at a time when Russian trolls were rampant on X after it was purchased by Elon Musk, a supporter of Trump and Putin.
But the fact that this emotion may be fueled by Russia does not mean that it should be ignored.
Debt of ingratitude
Yet ironically, just as some people in Poland were rejoicing over Zelensky’s failures in Washington and the interruption of American weapons deliveries to the East, the accusation of ingratitude was also being leveled at the Poles.
It is hard to find a more pro-American country than Poland.
Let us recall: Elon Musk wrote on X that he could cut off the Ukrainian army from Starlink. That was followed by Polish Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski replying that Poland would pay for the subscription, and if the service is suspended, Warsaw would consider another supplier. Musk called the Polish minister a “little man.” Later when Secretary of State Marco Rubio confirmed that Poland would not be cut off, he made sure to add: “And say thank you, because without Starlink Ukraine would have lost this war long ago and Russians would be on the border with Poland right now.”
It is hard to find a more pro-American country than Poland. Warsaw took part in operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, agreed to the operation of a secret CIA prison, and has always taken Washington’s position into account in relations with Israel. And yet it was not France’s Emmanuel Macron, who played hardball towards the United States, who was told he was ungrateful — but Sikorski.
Researchers of emotions in social and political life emphasize that the feeling of gratitude usually goes hand-in-hand with incurring obligations. In international relations, this helps build patronage-client alliances: a weaker country incurs a “debt of gratitude” from a stronger one, which must be repaid.
Talking about gratitude is really talking about unequal status. “Politicians often talk about emotions to express what for various reasons seems unacceptable,” explains Ukrainian political psychologist Svitlana Chunikhina. “A demand to show gratitude is a euphemism. It is a confession of the superiority of the helping party. That it is in fact more valuable, and therefore it is allowed to do more.”
Demonstrative acts
For Olga Dukhnich, a psychologist and political scientist associated with the Ukrainian Frontier Institute, Polish-Ukrainian relations have been full of emotions for years. They are governed not by “dry” agreements and protocols, but by mutual declarations of love or demonstrative acts of rejection.
Gratitude is a specific currency in politics, it enters where there are no procedures
Polish society, by hosting Ukrainians in their homes and hearts in the spring of 2022, did not only a good deed, but also made an extraordinary emotional investment. Some time has passed and people – as expected – want to get back the invested funds. But that’s not how it works, emotions never return in the form in which they first appeared. So there will always be a feeling: we did more, and they did less.
“Gratitude is a specific currency in politics, it enters where there are no procedures,” Dukhnich explained.
Typical family culture
In 2022, the Polish grassroots movement supporting war refugees from Ukraine was often contrasted with the bureaucratic systems of Germany, Norway or the Netherlands as a better, more humane alternative. Yes, Western Europeans treated Ukrainians with a certain distance, as they did with other asylum seekers like Bosnians, Croats, Afghans, Syrians or Eritreans.
There were not the same kind of warm emotions as there are in Poland, but today there’s no debate about ungrateful Ukrainians.
It was not citizens, but “bloodless” local governments and states that organized transports, accommodation and hot meals. There were definitely not the same kind of warm emotions as there are in Poland, but today there’s no debate about ungrateful Ukrainians.
“Poland, like Ukraine, is a typical family culture, where formalities and structures do not rule, but authority and loyalty,” adds Dukhnich. “By demanding the implementation of agreements on the export of agricultural products or the implementation of the provisions of the 2019 agreement between the presidents of Poland and Ukraine on the exhumation of World War II-era massacre victims in Volhynia, Ukraine is behaving in accordance with the law and procedures, but is undermining this informal loyalty.”
Nothing without equality
In the “More In Common” public opinion survey from early March, less than one-third of Poles declared that Ukraine shows sufficient gratitude to Poland for the support it has provided. As many as 62% believe that this gratitude is too little.
Every second respondent thinks that to show this gratitude, Ukraine should apologize to Poland for the Volhynia massacres during World War II, and allow the exhumation of the victims.
Kyiv, as long as it is fighting Russia, is a party dependent on Western countries
There is not a week that goes by without the Ukrainian President’s Office or the Ministry of Foreign Affairs not thanking the Polish nation, President Andrzej Duda and other Polish politicians or representatives of civil society. As for the MAGA people’s complaints, according to CNN’s calculations, Zelensky has publicly thanked the Americans and the U.S. at least 33 times since February 24, 2022.
All this apparently goes unnoticed.
“When someone accuses you of lack of gratitude, no matter how hard you try, you are doomed to the fate of the mythical Danaids who fill a bottomless barrel with water every day,” says Dukhnich. “Kyiv, as long as it is fighting Russia, is a party dependent on Western countries, but it is already demonstrating that in the future it intends to be a state without complexes. Accusations of lack of gratitude are an attempt to undermine these Ukrainian ambitions.”
The fact that gratitude is used instrumentally does not mean that Ukrainians should forget about help or ignore the expectations of friendly countries
“Although traditionally it is the stronger who demands gratitude from the weaker, true gratitude is only possible in relations of equals,” emphasizes Dukhnich. When we talk about ingratitude, we mean the outlays and expenses we have incurred. Meanwhile, we feel gratitude not for something, but for someone. In this way we show respect to the one who has shown it to us.”
