Death is worth 46,000 euros in Russia. At least that is how much the family of a soldier who dies in the war in Ukraine receives. That’s a lot of money in Russia: you can use it to buy a new apartment, finance your children’s education, go on various vacations.
Of course, for most of those who lose a family member, that is no consolation. For some, however, there is a pragmatic calculation to be made.
Reports from independent media and across social networks highlight a particularly disturbing trend that has gripped parts of Russian society: women persuading — or even forcing — their sons, husbands or fathers to enlist because of the financial benefits.
Men have been sharing their disbelief at being urged by their wives and mothers to join the military, while women express shock at neighbors and friends who openly admit that their husbands’ service is a lucrative opportunity — and that they can live with it if the men don’t come back.
For the latest news & views from every corner of the world, Worldcrunch Today is the only truly international newsletter. Sign up here.
It is of course impossible to determine how widespread this phenomenon is. Many women, after all, aren’t swayed by money but by the propaganda they’ve internalized, trapped in traditional gender roles. Sentiments like, “It is your duty as a man and a patriot!” echo across Russian households, pressuring young men who refuse to serve, or flee before mobilization.
There’s a collective cognitive dissonance within Russian society when it comes to the war. Men are drafted, vanish for months or forever, and sometimes return wounded yet celebrated as heroes.
Meanwhile, the war itself feels distant for most civilians, even those with relatives at the front. Life in cities and villages goes on as usual, detached from the brutal realities of the conflict.
And if the war makes you wealthier, you might prefer not to know too much about it. Widows of so-called “heroes” enjoy higher social status, while money from the front elevates their living standards.
Debt forgiven
Regular soldiers earn around €1,800 per month — more than double the average Russian income. Additional benefits include rent compensation, allowances for destroying enemy equipment, school funding for children, and even vouchers for summer camp.
Just last week, President Vladimir Putin signed a law forgiving war veterans’ debts of up to €92,000. In Perm, married couples can claim a €1,200 bonus for having a child if the father is deployed. On social media, an anecdote has been making the rounds: “He drove a brand new tank; she drove a brand new Lada,” referring to the popular Russian carmaker.
For some ex-wives, financial motivation is even more direct. They hoped to receive, in this indirect way, the alimony which the men had been unwilling or unable to pay for years.
If he dies, at least my child will receive compensation.
Independent media outlet Verstka interviewed several single mothers who handed over their ex-husbands’ details to military commissions, hoping to collect alimony indirectly through their enlistment or death benefits.
“To be honest, I don’t care whether my ex-husband copes with life on the front, or about how long he lasts there,” one woman said. “For me, he died as a person long ago.”
Another shared, “For 12 years, my son and I have neither seen nor heard from him, even though we live in the same city. If he dies, at least my child will receive compensation.”
Bring back the boys
While it’s easy to cast moral judgments on such women, it’s important to examine the system that fosters such brutal choices. What could be a greater indictment of a country than its people feeling compelled to betray even their own family for financial survival?
At the same time, it’s crucial to remember the many women who have bravely spoken out against the war. After the first mobilization in September 2022, women across Russia — particularly in regions like Dagestan — protested to stop their men from being conscripted. Despite their efforts, the protests were crushed, and hundreds of women were arrested.
Their demands extended beyond ending mobilization to include calls for peace.
Yet they persisted. Activist groups formed like Way Home and We’ll Bring Back the Boys, and grew increasingly vocal. By 2023, their demands extended beyond ending mobilization to include calls for peace negotiations with Ukraine and a rejection of nuclear weapons.
Silent dissent
Initially, the Kremlin struggled to suppress these movements. Publicly beating the mothers and sisters of soldiers fighting on the front, as they often do with male protesters, was too bad a look even for Putin’s regime. Instead, they branded these groups as “foreign agents” to undermine their legitimacy.
Still, the women continued their fight. This past summer, some even staged peaceful sit-ins outside Moscow’s Ministry of Defense, only to face another wave of arrests.
It’s easy to imagine that alongside these brave women, there are many Russians — fathers, sons, friends — who quietly wish for their loved ones to return and now question not just the war but perhaps the entire system of their country. Unfortunately, we know nothing about their thoughts: sadly, fear forces their silence.
Meanwhile, the roar of a brand-new Lada’s engine drowns out their whispers.
