Wait a minute. Ok, so Sandy is on its way and the race for the White House is up for grabs, but the rest of us are fretting about our Halloween costumes. We global news types naturally look for inspiration from other events that have been happening around the world over the past few months:
1. Dress up as a member of Pussy Riot. It's amazing how pulling an old pair of fluo tights over your head this year can make you look like a human rights activist.
2. If you're unmoved by the cause of democracy, or less fuzzy than that guy, you can choose the Russian rockers' nemesis as your model. That sleek, smooth action man that is Vladimir Putin: oil that body up, and pretend you're a goose. Really. Otherwise, there is Felix Baumgartner, who apparently is warm to authoritarian regimes, and you can re-enact this pivotal moment from 2012:
3. Dress up as Lady Gaga and Julian Assange, after their impromptu rendez-vous at Assange's pad at the Ecuadorian embassy in London. Or just dress up as a haggard witch and a pervy vampire, no big diff":
4. If you're feeling kinda down this Halloween, you can slap together a Lance Armstrong costume. It should be easy, he's been stripped of everything so just turn up to the party with all your emotional baggage, some non-sponsored shades, and sit in the corner. Bro, this party is dope.
5. There's always the one guy who dresses up as Jesus, but this year you'll have the edge by dressing up as that Jesus fresco masterpiece. So thank you Internet for all the global inspiration: on second thought, maybe we'll just stay online for Halloween. Scary enough here.
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