Look inside
Look inside Andrew Smith

BEIJING — It’s not something most of us have to worry about these days, but for some, having too much money can pose serious problems. Take, for example, your average corrupt Chinese official.

Former deputy director of Hohhot Railway Bureau in Inner Mongolia, Ma Junfei, was arrested, tried, sentenced to death and then reprieved for taking bribes totaling 130 million RMB ($21.5 million) in cash, and 40 kilograms of gold.

His biggest headache over the two-year trial? How to hide this much loot; it reportedly filled up two of his houses.

The Epoch Times recently reported that within a mere 22 months of starting his mandate, Ma received, on average, 6 million RMB ($990,900) per month — almost $30,000 a day. He was too busy receiving all these bribes to even spend it, so his colossal pile remained pretty much untouched, a fact that helped him avoid the death penalty.

China’s booming economy over the past three decades has given unscrupulous officials seemingly unlimited opportunities at graft, though new Chinese leader Xi Jinping has made a crackdown on corruption one of his key objectives in office.

Ma went to extreme, often creative, lengths to hide his embezzled funds, reports Beijing News, which also noted some of the other recent favorite places for other corrupt officials to stash their loot.

We’ve decided to rank them according to (a) creativity and, (b) the likelihood of it being found.

1. Under Piles Of Trash

Creative points: 1/10

Likelihood of being found: 10/10

Sure, money may stink, but this is embezzlement at its sloppiest. Think a bit harder, folks.

2. Behind A Big Mirror

Creative points: 1/10

Likelihood of being found: 9/10

Cops watch the same cop movies as the rest of us.

3. In A Rice Container

Creative points: 3/10

Likelihood of being found: 8/10

Chinese cops watch the same Chinese cop movies as the rest of us.

4. In The Holes Of A Tree

Creative points: 4/10

Likelihood of being found: 8/10

You play with Mother Nature, she may fly away with your bounty.

5. Under Roof Tiles

Creative points: 4/10

Likelihood of being found: 6/10

This all depends on the handiwork of your tile guy.

6. In The Ceiling

Creative points: 5/10

Likelihood of being found: 5/10

Ma clearly copied the idea from an NBA coach who hid $2,600 under ceiling tiles at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

7. In Your Fish Pond

Creative points: 7/10

Likelihood of being found: 3/10

Dirty money often sleeps with the fishes.

8. In The Lining Of Your Pants

Creative points: 8/10

Likelihood of being found: 3/10

If I don’t jingle with coins I’ll be safe, you say? Wrong. Hu Fangyu, an official of Guizhou Province’s Changshun County, was discovered when his pants and their double lining were stolen by a thief, and later found by local police. He got sentenced to 11 years of wearing a prison jumpsuit.

9. In Your Sewage Tank

Creative points: 9/10

Likelihood of being found: 1/10

Because, gross.

10. In The Mouths Of The Fish In Your Fish Pond

Creative points: 10/10

Likelihood of being found: 1/10

Bonus points if your pond is stocked with piranha. (Coming Soon to theaters near you!)

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