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Can Men Help Breastfeed Their Children?

In a tribe in central Africa, male and female roles are practically interchangeable in caregiving to children. Even though their lifestyle might sound strange to the West, it offers important life lessons about who raises children — and how.

Photo of a marble statue of a man, focused on the torso

No milk — but comfort and warmth for the baby

Ignacio Pereyra

The southwestern regions of the Central African Republic and the northern Republic of Congo are home to the Aka, a nomadic tribe of hunter-gatherers who, from a Western point-of-view, are surprising because male and female roles are practically interchangeable.

Though women remain the primary caregivers, what is interesting is that their society has a level of flexibility virtually unknown to ours.

While the women hunt, the men care for the children; while the men cook, the women decide where to settle, and vice versa. This was observed by anthropologist Barry Hewlett, a professor at Washington State University, who lived for long periods alongside the tribe. “It is the most egalitarian human society possible,” Hewlett said in an interview.

During his research, he found that fathers in the Aka tribe spend more time in close contact with their babies than in any other known society, holding their babies 47% of the time. In an article in The Guardian, Hewlett reports that fathers sometimes even breastfeed their babies.

Breastfeeding is not free

Yes, you heard that right. Contrary to what many may believe, male nipples are far from useless, at least for the Aka. Fathers’ nipples are there as substitutes when mothers are not around and there is a desperate baby in dad’s care.

I am not referring here to fathers producing milk and nursing their babies — which is possible for some transgender men and nonbinary people, as well as trans women with the help of drugs.

As much as there is no comparison with breastfeeding in nutritional terms, it doesn't sound so far-fetched to think that for a baby sucking from the father's nipple may feel more pleasant than a rubber pacifier, does it? (I'm sure there will be no lack of those who will see in this an element of “child abuse” — I’ve already seen this reaction in several places.) If for a moment we can ignore our cultural conditioning, perhaps we can imagine that there are other possibilities.

Breastfeeding is a labor-intensive form of care.

I am thinking of this as my newborn son León spends many hours a day attached to my partner’s breasts — feeding, but also seeking comfort and warmth. When she wrote about the false myth of breastfeeding as free, Irene, my partner, calculated that she spent some 12 hours a day feeding Lorenzo, our firstborn. Journalist Alyssa Rosenberg wrote that she breastfed her child some five hours a day in an article for The Washington Post. Regardless of the exact hours, it is clear that breastfeeding is far from free, and that it represents a labor-intensive form of care.

I remember that when my son Lorenzo was still getting over being weaned, one day he came to my chest and started sucking one of my nipples saying, "Teta, teta." He was playing. We laughed but I didn't let him continue.

I wonder now if I would ever let León try out one of my nipples in an emergency. Like one of those days when Lorenzo, being a baby and demanding his mother's presence, wouldn't stop crying and there was nothing to comfort him: would it have worked if I tried this method? And what if we men pitched in with our chests too, and took over some of the time when babies want to be at the breast just to feel reassured?!

Photo of a Aka woman hunting

Aka woman hunting

Wikimedia Commons

A different approach and important life lesson

Returning to the research, if Aka life sounds like a feminist paradise, it is not. While tasks and decision-making are largely shared activities, the best jobs go to the men. But that doesn't detract from their important contribution as co-caregivers with their children, nor does it reduce the impact of the message Hewlett believes the Aka tribe has for Western couples struggling to find a balance between the demand of paid work, housework, self-fulfillment and parenting.

We’ve come to believe that kids are a burden rather than a blessing.

Hewlett says he admires the Aka’s attentive and patient approach to children, while still respecting their autonomy. “The Aka do not talk about ‘quality time.’ They believe in quantity, and that approach was very meaningful for me. In the United States, where you have the ‘quality time’ notion, there is no point bringing the children to work with you — in fact, it is even a waste of time — because you cannot devote your full attention to them,” he says.

“There's a big sense in our society that dads can't always be around and that you have to give up a lot of time with your child but that you can put that right by having quality time with them instead," says Hewlettin another piece.

This is a reflection that stayed with me: we’ve come to believe that kids are a burden rather than a blessing. That's something the Aka never do, according to Hewlett. Another important life lesson from a people whose lifestyle may sound very foreign to us, but whose societal relationships carry important insights.

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FOCUS: Israel-Palestine War

Why The U.S. Lost Its Leverage In The Middle East — And May Never Get It Back

In the Israel-Hamas war, Qatar now plays the key role in negotiations, while the United States appears increasingly disengaged. Shifts in the region and beyond require that Washington move quickly or risk ceding influence to China and others for the long term.

Photograph of U.S Secretary of State Antony Blinken  shaking hands with sraeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant.

November 30, 2023, Tel Aviv, Israel: U.S Secretary of State Antony Blinken shakes hands with Israeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant.

Chuck Kennedy/U.S State/ZUMA
Sébastien Boussois


PARIS — Upon assuming office in 2008, then-President Barack Obama declared that United States would gradually begin withdrawing from various conflict zones across the globe, initiating a complex process that has had a major impact on the international landscape ever since.

This started with the American departure from Iraq in 2010, and was followed by Donald Trump's presidency, during which the "Make America Great Again" policy redirected attention to America's domestic interests.

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The withdrawal trend resumed under Joe Biden, who ordered the exit of U.S. forces from Afghanistan in 2021. To maintain a foothold in all intricate regions to the east, America requires secure and stable partnerships. The recent struggle in addressing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict demonstrates that Washington increasingly relies on the allied Gulf states for any enduring influence.

Since the collapse of the Camp David Accords in 1999 during Bill Clinton's tenure, Washington has consistently supported Israel without pursuing renewed peace talks that could have led to the establishment of a Palestinian state.

While President Joe Biden's recent challenges in pushing for a Gaza ceasefire met with resistance from an unyielding Benjamin Netanyahu, they also stem from the United States' overall disengagement from the issue over the past two decades. Biden now is seeking to re-engage in the Israel-Palestine matter, yet it is Qatar that is the primary broker for significant negotiations such as the release of hostages in exchange for a ceasefire —a situation the United States lacks the leverage to enforce.

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