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Photo: Eurovision Song Contest

We've got so much to say about Moldova's entry for Eurovision 2015. Not about the song per say, which is just kind of blergh, but about the music video — a cops-and-robbers-BOOM-BANG-BANG car chase directed by a second-hand Moldovan version of Michael Bay.

In this masterpiece, which is a bit NSFW and a lot WTF, this year's contestant 23-year-old Eduard Romanyuta stars as the bad boy. He got himself locked up in jail, we're guessing for something haircut- or facial hair-related, and is chilling on the floor of his cell with his ball and chain. Because Moldovan prisons are just old-fashioned that way.

Long story short, he somehow manages to escape, and takes a policewoman hostage, stilettoes and all. Because Moldovan police is just sexist that way. An absurd car chase ensues, during which police cars seem to explode spontaneously. For some reason, the lady gets sick and throws up on the windscreen of the police car chasing them — which turns out to be a clever and non-violent way to shake off your pursuers.

Then — we definitely didn't see that coming — Eduard and Daria (or Valeria or Andreea, all valid Moldovan names) start smooching.

Seriously, dude.

SHE'S JUST PUKED, what's wrong with you?

Anyway, it makes a fellow officer giggle, and spoiler alert it looks like it was just a dream. Ta-dah.

Bonus bit of trivia: Just when you thought Romanyuta was just another brainless Bon Jovi wannabe, you learn that he's currently working on his PhD thesis about international competition of tax systems and tax policy of Ukraine in the context of euro integration. Impressive.

Our vote:

Does it make you want to visit that country? 0.5/10

Was there enough glitter? 4.25/10

Ok to quit your day job? 0.75/10

OVERALL AVERAGE: 1.83/10

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Society

Colombia Celebrates Its Beloved Drug For The Ages, Coffee

This essential morning drink for millions worldwide was once considered an addictive menace, earning itself a ban on pain of death in the Islamic world.

Colombia's star product: coffee beans.

Julián López de Mesa Samudio

-Essay-

BOGOTÁ — October 1st is International Coffee Day. Recently it seems as if every day of the calendar year commemorates something — but for Colombia, coffee is indeed special.

For almost a century now we have largely tied our national destiny, culture and image abroad to this drink. Indeed it isn't just Colombia's star product, it became through the course of the 20th century the world's favorite beverage — and the most commonly used drug to boost work output.

Precisely for its stimulating qualities — and for being a mild drug — coffee was not always celebrated, and its history is peppered with the kinds of bans, restrictions and penalties imposed on the 'evil' drugs of today.

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