Photo: Eurovision Song Contest
We've got so much to say about Moldova's entry for Eurovision 2015. Not about the song per say, which is just kind of blergh, but about the music video — a cops-and-robbers-BOOM-BANG-BANG car chase directed by a second-hand Moldovan version of Michael Bay.
In this masterpiece, which is a bit NSFW and a lot WTF, this year's contestant 23-year-old Eduard Romanyuta stars as the bad boy. He got himself locked up in jail, we're guessing for something haircut- or facial hair-related, and is chilling on the floor of his cell with his ball and chain. Because Moldovan prisons are just old-fashioned that way.
Long story short, he somehow manages to escape, and takes a policewoman hostage, stilettoes and all. Because Moldovan police is just sexist that way. An absurd car chase ensues, during which police cars seem to explode spontaneously. For some reason, the lady gets sick and throws up on the windscreen of the police car chasing them — which turns out to be a clever and non-violent way to shake off your pursuers.
Then — we definitely didn't see that coming — Eduard and Daria (or Valeria or Andreea, all valid Moldovan names) start smooching.
SHE'S JUST PUKED, what's wrong with you?
Anyway, it makes a fellow officer giggle, and spoiler alert it looks like it was just a dream. Ta-dah.
Does it make you want to visit that country? 0.5/10
Was there enough glitter? 4.25/10
Ok to quit your day job? 0.75/10
OVERALL AVERAGE: 1.83/10