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The Most Serene Republic of San Marino, as its official name goes, is not exactly the most serene Eurovision contestant there is. Having failed to qualify in its first four attempts, the landlocked microstate reached the Eurovision final for the first time in 2014, where it finished 24th — out of 26 contestants.

This year's proud candidates, Anita Simoncini and Michele Perniola, are both former Junior Eurovision Song Contest artists — because, hey, kids aged 10 to 15 also have the right to sing over-the-top lyrics while dressed as George Michael.

In the official video for their song "Chain of Lights," something that looks like Tinkerbell decides to freak random people out by traveling from smartphone to smartphone. We're guessing the moral to this story is "maybe don't pick up your phone if you're golfing in San Marino?"

With lyrics like "If we all light a candle/We could build a chain of light/If we all walk together/We will feel the love inside," their "Chain of Lights" sounds like a charity song somebody wrote while high on marshmallows. It also boasts what's potentially the worst intro in the whole history of intros, and so many key changes you can't unlock the door and run.

Our vote:

Does it make you want to visit that country? 7.25/10

Was there enough glitter? 6.25/10

Ok to quit your day job? 3.25/10

OVERALL AVERAGE: 5.58/10

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War In Ukraine, Day 226: 'Armageddon,' 'Preemptive Strikes'  — A New Spiral Of Nuclear Warnings

“We have not faced the prospect of Armageddon since Kennedy and the Cuban missile crisis,” U.S. President Joe Biden declared.

U.S. President Joe Biden in Washington, D.C. on Oct. 6

In less than 24 hours, new warnings and threats have heated up around the use of nuclear weapons.

U.S. President Joe Biden said during a Democratic fundraiser in New York Thursday evening that Vladimir Putin’s threats to use tactical nuclear weapons must be taken very seriously.

Stay up-to-date with the latest on the Russia-Ukraine war, with our exclusive international coverage.

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“We have not faced the prospect of Armageddon since Kennedy and the Cuban missile crisis,” Biden said. “He is not joking when he talks about potential use of tactical nuclear weapons or biological and chemical weapons, because his military is, you might say, significantly underperforming. I don’t think there’s any such thing as the ability to easily [use] tactical nuclear weapons and not end up with Armageddon.”

Meanwhile, the Russian government accused Volodymyr Zelensky of trying to provoke a nuclear war after his video comments at an event at the Lowy Institute in Australia. The Ukrainian president said he believed in the need for pre-emptive strikes and stated that NATO should make it impossible for Russia to use nuclear weapons. “We need pre-emptive strikes, so that they’ll know what will happen to them if they use nukes, and not the other way around,” Zelensky said via video link. “Don’t wait for Russia’s nuclear strikes, and then say, ‘Oh, since you did this, take that from us!’”

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