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The 60th edition of the Eurovision Song Contest, that annual European musical event that no one really understands, will take place on May 23 in Vienna, Austria. This year, 40 countries will participate, including, for the first time that country down in the extreme southeastern corner of Europe: Australia. (organizers cite “strong cultural ties” to explain their qualification).

We will use this space to introduce the 40 contestants this year, one-by-one.

It turns out Eurovision has a whole set of rules, and voting doesn’t only consist in countries giving points to their neighbors. But as we’re still not too sure what makes a good Eurovision song, we will rate them according to our own three selected criteria: “Does it make you want to visit that country?”, “Was there enough glitter?” and “Should they actually be in the music business (OK to quit your day job)?”

Our first contestant is Albania and its singer Elhaida Dani, who became famous after winning Star Academy Albania in 2009 and The Voice of Italy in 2013. She will be performing “I’m Alive,” a song about feeling one’s existence and emotions to the fullest through love and pain.

In the video, various women working different jobs can be seen staring at the camera, shedding a single tear before pulling that tear back into their eye and smiling.

Our vote:

Does it make you want to visit that country? 4/10

Was there enough glitter? 3.25/10

Ok to quit your day job? 4.75/10

OVERALL AVERAGE: 4/10

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